The Internet Dating Crash Course – Lesson 1 – Online Dating in Today’s World

I’m so glad you’ve given yourself this gift!

In the next five days, you’re going to be hearing from me with some solid strategies on how to use online dating sites to finally achieve your dream of finding someone who meets all of your emotional and physical needs.

You may have even tried a dating site before but your results flopped. That’s typical for people who don’t understand how it works – and like anything else that’s new to you – you have to educate yourself to get the best results!

Most people simply fill in their name, maybe stick a picture on the site, and list “walks along the beach” as their favorite activity.

That won’t get you anywhere!

In this lesson, we’re going to cover the Internet dating scene and in the end I’ll give you a couple of little tasks you can tackle now or at the end of this course. (I recommend doing it now so that you can follow along as we go).

Ready to start?

What Is Online Dating?

Online dating isn’t simply having a long distance relationship on the ‘net. Many people do meet that way – maybe in a music or TV fan chat room (not necessarily a dating site) – but it’s also meant as a bridge to connect local individuals to one another if a match within the system is found.

The online dating scene can be a little intimidating.

There are so many people there – some seem to be absolute pros at maneuvering the dating sites and some look like they put up a shell of a profile page and ran away scared.

Some online dating sites connect groups of individuals to communicate with one another for friendships. It’s more than just a one on one romantic connection – many solid friendships are made on Internet dating sites today!

You might find a friend to have an occasional lunch with, or someone worthy of proposal – and everything in between.

The online dating services doesn’t hand pick (by a human reviewer) the perfect person for you. It’s not a match-making service in that regard.

What it is, is a place where you can make connections via the computer. And sometimes that evolves into a phone or in-person meeting if everything goes smoothly initially.

Most online dating sites have some semblance of free service available, but you really can’t participate to any real degree unless you give it a test drive and become an official member.

What information are they going to want to know? Well here’s a sample list – but keep in mind that you often retain control over what you share and what details you choose to give out.

• Name
• Gender
• Age
• Location
• Hobbies
• Salary
• Body type
• Race

Many people leave out certain profile items that they don’t want to disclose – like salary, for example. Or maybe body shape – those are all optional for you to fill in on most sites.

The reason these criteria are listed is so that the computer system can easily match up people who fit your needs and the needs of others.

For example, perhaps your age bracket is strictly listed as hoping to meet someone who is 18-25. If you’ve chosen this, then it wouldn’t present you with anyone over age 25.

Each site allows you to include a profile picture.

Some people stress unnecessarily about this. Online dating has become a spot for people to weed out the individuals whose entire personalities don’t match theirs – and believe it or not, looks are often not the #1 priority!

An online dating site doesn’t just have profiles with an email contact system, either. It includes features members can use like chat rooms, web cam hang outs, and even message boards where you can post questions and help others who are just learning to navigate the process of online dating.

The free services most sites allow are just enough of a tease to entice you to sign up. For example, you can post a profile. But when someone contacts you on the site, you have to sign up as a member to able to read or reply to the message.

Decide ahead of time what type of online dating site you’re seeking. Do you want one that encompasses all levels of connections – from friendships to lifetime partners? Or are you looking for a fast hookup with someone and don’t care if it develops into something more?

The Steps You’ll Take to Use an Official Online Dating Site

I know how awful it is to spend every night sitting there alone, wishing you had someone to talk to. Once you get past the party scene, it isn’t fun to have to go to a bar and hang out in order to meet someone single, either!

Workplaces are good for meeting people – but not always – and you really can’t rely on friends and family to set you up with blind dates time and time again. So that leaves online dating sites as the most reliable method for helping you make the most important connection of your life.

Not All Dating Sites Are Created Equally

Never, ever just join a dating site that you see in some random ad. You want honest recommendations. Sites are creates differently – and some have more stable reputations than others. You want real reviews by members who have had a great experience using the site.

What Does Online Dating Cost?

Initially, you can sign up as a free user of the Internet dating site. It won’t open you up to all of the features, but it’ll get you closer to your goals.

My advice is that you sign up as a free member at several sites and then decide which one seems like the kind of dating site you’d most prefer to use. As a free user, you might be able to browse profiles, but not initiate contact, or it might be more restrictive to seeing profile pictures only.

How Is a Connection Made to Someone?

The dating sites offer a two-way street. You can contact others, or wait to be contacted by someone else! The system will do its part by running your interests and preferences through the system, sending you matches it finds in the process.

Once you get the list, you can go through and whittle down the list to those you feel have potential. Then you might send out an introductory email to see if there’s a mutual interest.

What’s the Best Way to Make a Profile?

Our next lesson is going to really teach you how to make an amazing profile, but for now, you can sign up for a free profile on a few sites and add your picture and basic information.

It’s not advisable to be extremely detailed with your profile information until you’re sure this is someone who you want to know. Feel free to list hobbies and interests, because this is where initial connections are made.

Tasks for You to Accomplish Until Tomorrow’s Lesson:

I want you to take out a piece of paper (or do this on your computer). Write down the following and answer the questions:

1. By joining an online dating site, I hope to _____________________________

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

2. For communication with others, I want to use the following (check all that apply): ___ Email ___ Site/Online Chat ___ Phone ___ Web Cam Hang Out ___ In person meeting

3. I want to find (check all that applies): ___ friendship ___ companionship ___ long term relationship

Those three questions will help you determine a path for your online dating journey so that you stick to meeting your goals and don’t get sidetracked with something you really don’t want for yourself.

What Sucks About Online Dating

Once upon a time in a land far, far away, I knew a guy. This guy was interesting because he lived his life by everything bad, not good. That may sound a little strange but consider your life and the conversations you may have on any given day. How often are you inundated with advertising, or endorsements from friends or messages preaching the positives of something? For example, “This restaurant is great because it has the best salad bar in town.” Or how about, “You should shop at Nordstrom’s this weekend because they are having a great sale!” My most recent message, “You should stay at this hotel because they have the largest rooms!”

Everybody in the world from industry to people always puts their best foot forward. They highlight the good, and hide the bad. We sell based on our assets, we win based on being the best. This did not work on the guy I knew. He lived his life by everything bad. He wanted to know that the lettuce in the salad was 3 days old instead of fresh. If that was not bad enough for him to avoid, he would eat the salad. If the sale at Nordstrom’s was going on, he would want to know the mark-up Nordstrom’s is making on each on sale item. If it was not too much, he would shop the sale. If this guy was hotel shopping, he would want to know that the maid service is horrible, and that the room smelled like smoke. If he could live with the bad, he would move forward.

Let’s take his notion and talk about something so very near and dear to all of our wandering hearts. The theory here: If you knew all the things bad about dating online, can you live with them? Does the benefit outweigh the drawbacks?

1) There are a lot of fake profiles on dating websites. Fake profiles are spammers posing as real people. When choosing a website to meet people, you have a lot of options. Many dating sites have advanced spam filters and moderators that block spam activity and thus, keeping the nuisance to a minimum. On the flip side the vast majority of websites do not have any spam filters, meaning 9 out of every 10 members are fake! Pick your website of choice carefully, and know that no matter what, you have to be weary of spammers.

2) The quality of online candidates is low. While this perception of online dating cannot be considered false, it most certainly cannot be considered true! People believe that those who online date cannot find a date in real life because they are not good looking or are socially inept. Fact: Not all people on online dating websites look like Brad Pitt or Megan Foxx. Fact: Some people join dating websites because they are not graced with the skill or confidence to meet strangers in a social environment. Fact: Just because the first two are facts, it does not mean these are poor quality members! Bottom line, a dating website is a reflection of the real world and there is something for everyone. Who is anybody to judge what is good or bad? Realize that when you date online, have to meet people you’re not going to like until you find your perfect match. That’s life. The next time you are in a crowded room, look around you. It’ll resemble all the members on an inernet dating site.

3) There aren’t enough people in my area. For many dating websites, especially the younger ones, this is most certainly true, especially if you live in a rural area. If this is the case, you have two things you may have to learn to deal with. – You could meet somebody online through a dating website that lives in the nearest major city or town to you, and commute. The commute may be a drag, but would you drive an hour to find the man of your dreams? Your other option is to join the website, and keep checking your profile on a weekly basis to keep track of all the new people joining who live in your area, and have first pick of the litter! If you feel like being philanthropic, you can even share the dating profile with some of your friends, who will then share it with their friends via Facebook, Twitter or whatever. Before you know it, a huge number of people will be joining that internet dating website in your area, and you’re not going to know any of them!

4) Online dating is frowned upon. It may be shocking, but even in today’s world there are people who do not respect the service internet dating provides the lonely. In their defense, these people have low confidence, low self esteem and will probably be single forever. They are not date worthy. Those who online date need courage to try something new, wisdom to play the online introduction game, and the confidence to dismiss the fools who judge. At the end of the day, you will marry and live a happy life, and they will not.

In conclusion, Online Dating Sucks! So do hotel rooms, so does Nordstrom’s, and so do all restaurants. No matter what the service, subject, or product, there is something wrong with them. Online dating is not for everybody, because for some, the bad outweighs the good. On the flip side, you should now know the negative things about online dating. Are you able to deal with the bad when the end result could be the love of your life? You be the judge…

Online Dating Perceptions

Social networking and online dating is currently the hot trend and many people are turning to internet dating sites to find friends, romance, love and connections. Many people are more comfortable with dating online, since some of them might be shy and have a fear of face to face rejection. This is one of the reasons why internet dating has become so popular these days.

With the rise of internet and changes in contemporary lifestyles, internet dating has become very popular among daters of all ages. Due to busy life schedules, people have moved to chat rooms and professional dating services to find their life partner. The web dating industry has been steadily growing, even during the global recession and economic slowdown.

Conventional methods of dating such as meeting in bars and restaurants are very expensive compared to online dating. And people can now reach and meet way more people through web dating services then through any of their networks and friends. This is another reasons why internet matchmaking services are coming so popular.

These online professional dating services match subscribers based on metrics such as education, profession, hobbies, and values. These sites also conduct personality tests to identify the perfect match. Thus with the help of science, these sites promise to provide long lasting relationship.

SOCIAL STIGMA

Though the perception of dating online has been changing, there are still some people that are embarrassed to be attached to finding romance via website dating services. Although even those groups (like older, divorced people) are now beginning to warm up to the idea.

There is also some misguided beliefs that online daters are desperate and undesirable. That is just a myth and these days everyone from corporate people, to non-profit managers, to government employees are finding love and companionship online.

SUCCESS IN INTERNET DATING

There are some issues attached with online dating that people should be wary of:

  • Honesty: Some people may simply use this opportunity to dupe others by not disclosing their true selves or situations.
  • Distorted Perception: Some people may fill out their profiles completely wrong in order to attract people they think might not otherwise want to get to know them.
  • Addictive: Some people have been known to create more than one profile and connect with more than one partner simultaneously, just to have fun with his/her varying online personality.

Success in online dating takes being open (but not too open) and honest about who you are and what you’re looking for in a partner. If you are looking to just flirt and meet lots of new people, don’t say you want to get married just to get more people interested in you.

PRESENCE OF VARIOUS ONLINE SITES

Online profiles don’t come with any guarantees but there are many online dating sites that employ verification steps, such as verifying mobile numbers and such. Security measures are also taken by many dating sites, such as profiles being invisible to unknown persons.

Many sites offer chat rooms, forums and video-chats to enable greater authenticity of online daters. And many dating services offer filters that allow interested individuals to fill in the required basic characteristics in their potential partners.

Every year new online dating sites spring up offering safety measures, chemistry matches, and chatting options for those seeking love. Perceptions of online dating are rapidly changing and internet dating sites will soon be the number one mainstream way to find romantic interests.